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To me it means sadness (for causing me so many misunderstandings) and
protection (from not having to understand peoples evilness) and it
means satisfaction (because I don't have a problem with spending a lot
of time in my own company), and isolation (because I don't know how to
get close to people when I want), and disappoinment (in the NT world
not wanting to do even a small effort to understand me) and it means
joy (from having an amazing sharpness of my eyes that makes me enjoy
just looking at things) and it means intelligence (with the ability to
not have a lot of feelings interfering with my thoughts) and it means
beeing really good at a lot of things (since the thought of asking
someone for help never ocurred to me until lately) and freedom (from a
lot of the IMO strange things people seem to think is important). It
also has meant depression (growing up and not understanding what was
wrong with me) but it doesn't anymore. Autism is very contradictory
to me, someone else wrote: 'I've gained as much as I've lost' and that
goes for me too (maybe I've lost some more than I gained but that
wasn't because of the autism itself, but the lack of understanding
from the world around me).
Autism probably means more to me than this, but this is what came to my mind right now.
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